Cliff's Notes

Cliff Richard, a dreamy British teen idol in the '50s and '60s with more No 1 hits than the Beatles and Elvis and the first rock star to be knighted, has just written his autobiography called My Life, My Way, which would lead one to believe the 67-year-old spills the inside story of his relationship with longtime roommate John McElynn. But no. He writes that the former priest from New York simply takes care of his property and is also a companion "because I don't like living alone, even now." As for his sexuality, he says, "I am sick to death of the media's speculation about it. What business is it of anyone else's what any of us are as individuals? I don't think my fans would care either way." (AP)

Quote Unquote

"I know that was absolute rubbish, I was in Austria, I mean between me and you like, it would’ve been lovely to have enough stuff but there was nothing about, to be honest it was a really clean week and it was complete rubbish." – Pete Doherty, to MTV in the UK, on the stories that he almost OD'd in Austria earlier this week.

Mary-Kate and Jonah: Hollywood's Latest?

The Nat'l Enquirer would have us believe that Mary-Kate Olsen is cheating on her boyfriend Nate Lowman with Superbad star Jonah Hill because the unlikely pair were seen on a date last week at the Chateau Marmont and both were wearing plaid shirts (she famously without pants). Of course, allegations have been bandied on slimmer evidence. (Cele|bitchy)

Where's Dolly?

The third of our "Dollypop" featured artists is Robert de Michiell, famed illustrator and frequent contributor to The New Yorker, Entertainment Weekly, New York, the Wall Street Journal, and Time. Robert's strong abstract shapes within tightly controlled compositions suggest influences ranging from Art Deco designs of the '20s to the amoebic stylization of 1950s cartoons. And no, that's not Dolly Parton on the right – you'll have to come to the opening reception to see Robert's Dolly, Friday, September 12, at 8PM at the World of Wonder Storefront Gallery.

– Steven Corfe

Charo Puts Her Spin on "La Isla Bonita"

It's a cuchi-cuchi coup.

Steve Coogan: C*nt Buster

Doing his part to liberate the word "cunt," Hamlet 2's Steve Coogan has written "The Cunt Song," which he'll debut when his sketch-comedy show begins touring the UK in October. "I'm a firm believer in the Lenny Bruce school of thought," he says. "If you clamp down on a word, you give it power. I want to use it because it's taboo." (Contactmusic)

Of Interest

Actresses Justine Bateman and Meredith Salenger. (t/y Lindsey)

Big Deal: Howie Mandel Gets a Star

You'd think being honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame is the ultimate accolade for an entertainer. Alas, like all things Hollywood, there's even a power struggle at play when it comes to getting a star. It's not so much about simply joining these ranks as it is about where your star joins the ranks. While the Charlizes and Halles of the world get prime sidewalk real estate in front of Oscar's own Kodak Theater, and the Winonas and Johnnys party it up for eternity outside the Roosevelt hotel, TV "personalities" (even those with top-rated shows) get slightly seedier neighborhood plots. Take Howie Mandel, host of NBC's Deal or No Deal and this morning's honoree. As I approached the block, at Hollywood and Cahuenga just past Popeye's Chicken & Biscuits and the Hollywood Suit Outlet (3 suits for $99), I realized Howie was getting a bad rap. Even the Mayor of Hollywood felt inclined to apologize, mumbling something about Howie being deliberately clustered with the stars of other comedians, while Howie's eyes glanced doubtingly at the ViCE nightclub sign beside him. I guess it was that spot or no deal.

– Text and photo by Steven Corfe

Cindy and Laura: Just a Couple of Farmers' Wives at the RNC

Here are wife-mothers Laura Bush and Cindy McCain on stage Tuesday night at the Republican National Convention. Staff at Vanity Fair priced out what a couple of ladies who allegedly represent real working-class America might wear to such an event.

Laura Bush
Oscar de la Renta suit: $2,500
Stuart Weitzman heels: $325
Pearl stud earrings: $600–$1,500
Total: Between $3,425 and $4,325

Cindy McCain
Oscar de la Renta dress: $3,000
Chanel J12 White Ceramic Watch: $4,500
Three-carat diamond earrings: $280,000
Four-strand pearl necklace: $11,000–$25,000
Shoes, designer unknown: $600
Total: Between $299,100 and $313,100

Quote Unquote

"Everybody wants to see anybody fuck! I hate Rosie O'Donnell. But if someone said, 'I have a tape of Rosie O'Donnell getting fucked stupid,' I'd be like 'Why the fuck aren't we watching that right now?" – Seth Rogan as Zack to Elizabeth Banks' Miri in Kevin Smith's Zack and Miri Make a Porno. (Page Six)

Star Jones Snagged a New Boyfriend

He's a chef named Herb, and his specialty is tongue. (Peeps; photo: Pacific Coast News)

Daddy! Daddy?

David Spade made a baby. (Photo: WireImage)

Dollypop's Easy to Remember Artist

The second of our featured "Dollypop" artists is Tom Forget, a Brooklyn-based illustrator, designer, and artist. In addition to his design and illustration work, Tom has written several non-fiction books on subjects as diverse as David Bowie, zombie movies, and Captain America. Dollypop opens at the World of Wonder Storefront Gallery Friday September 12, with a complimentary pink champagne reception at 8PM.

Of Interest

Million Dollar Listing's Chad Rogers at the DKNY underwear display backstage at the American Music Awards in LA in 2006, and (it's not) Chad Rogers posing in an underwear ad recently. (t/y Pat)

Attwood Does Dollypop

Art for the "Dollypop" exhibition has started to arrive at the World of Wonder Storefront Gallery, such as this colored sand-and-gravel creation by Paul Attwood. "Dollypop" opens Friday, September 12, with a complimentary champagne reception at 8PM.

Quote Unquote

"Unless I’m misunderstanding something, I don’t know why, after the job Jay has done for them, why they would relinquish that. I guess they thought it was a less messy way to handle what happened to me at NBC. I don’t know.... I think he’d be a great guest on [my] show. The first night that he is out of a job, I think that would be a great situation." – David Letterman in an interview with Rolling Stone, on Jay Leno's dismissal from NBC. (NYTimes)

Lily and Elton MC the GQs

Lily Allen (drunk) and Elton John (been there) hosted the GQ Men of the Year Awards last night in London and engaged in a round of not-so-witty repartee to the sound of crickets in the audience.

Lily: ...And now the most important part of the night,
Elton: What? Are you going to have another drink?
Lily: Fuck off, Elton. I am 40 years younger than you and have my whole life ahead of me!
Elton: I can still snort you under the table.
Lily: Fuck off. I don't know what you're talking about.

(Pics of the event at Mail; photo: Charlotte Rogan)

Celebrities on the Phone

Great site Celebrities and Telephones has screen grabs of a multitude of actors yakking on the horn. We imagine Jake here is asking us if we can lend him some money. He wouldn't normally ask, but.... But at that moment we get another call, and it's Shia LaBeouf.

Leighton Meester: Jailbirth

Interesting fact has come to light. Seems Gossip Girl's pretty little Leighton Meester was born behind bars. Her mother was serving a federal prison sentence in Texas in 1986 for her involvement in a major drug-running ring, and was permitted to stay in a halfway house for Leighton's birth. Not only that, but the actress' father, grandfather, and aunt also spent time in the slammer for drug dealing. Must have made for an interesting childhood. Her life kind of makes the shenanigans on Gossip Girl seem like... shenanigans. (Star via M&C; photo: Matthew Mitchell/ShootingStar)

Of Interest

Senator John McCain and Battlestar Galactica's Colonel Saul Tigh. (4/29truth; t/y Fenton)

The Case of the Horse Whisperer and the Dastardly Mushrooms

This sounds like one of those murder-mysteries-with-dinner theatricals, or an Edward Gorey tale, but it's real. Seems The Horse Whisperer novelist Nicholas Evans, his wife Charlotte, her brother Sir Alistair Gordon-Cumming, and his wife Lady Louise all fell ill on holiday in the Scottish Highlands after eating a rare species of poisonous mushrooms. They picked and ate the edible-appearing Cortinarius speciosissimus on Saturday while on a woodland stroll across the grounds of the 12,000-acre estate owned by Sir Alistair, chief of the Cumming Clan. Two days later, the party was taken ill, and the two men were transferred to a renal unit at a hospital in nearby Aberdeen. In a statement, it was said that the four "have been given dialysis and other forms of treatment to support their kidney function and have responded well. A family friend who visited them said they were all walking about and were cheerful.” (The Times via Boing Boing)

Snap!

Here's a shot of fun couple Brad Pitt and Zahara Pitt-Jolie arriving in Cannes, France. The no-nonsense Zahara, who will one day be the fierce and fair ruler of some as-yet-unnamed country, is an adorable three and a half now, but is always being carried by her father or mother whenever we see her in photographs. And we're beginning to worry. Has anyone ever seen her on the ground? (Photo: SplashNewsOnline via Just Jared)

Of Interest

Cindy McCain and an alien life form. (via WWN)

Earliest Picture of Michael Phelps

He couldn't wait to meter. (t/y Jason)

Pete Doherty: Better Late Than Dead

While "news" reports swirl that Amy Winehouse is brain damaged from excessive drug use, her bud Pete Doherty had to be revived by medics in Austria after collapsing from a possible overdose. He had been preparing for a gig at a porn theater in Graz by doing a bunch of drugs at promoter Bettina Aichbauer’s farmhouse. When Doherty became unconscious, Aichbauer called an ambulance and he was revived. But unlike Winehouse who cancels her gigs when she's "sick," Doherty pulled himself together in only four hours and performed the show. Now, that's a professional. (The Sun)

Of Interest

Raising the Bar's Currie Graham and Recount's Kevin Spacey

Who Am I?

Reveal after the jump.

Guy Ritchie Plus One

A flawless Madonna took a tour detour last night, flying in from Zurich to support husband Guy Richie at the premiere in Leicester Square of his latest movie, RocknRolla. Tomorrow she's off to Amsterdam. Meanwhile, it looks like she wants to fuck the photographer. Or already has. (Mail; photo: Wire Image)

Coke, Straw, and Mirren

That great Oscar-winning broad Helen Mirren has recently rather blithely admitted to a) being date-raped more than once as a student and b) being partial to blow until she gave it up abruptly in the early '80s. (Jeez, what she missed!) The story she relates in October's UK edition of GQ re the coke is this: "I loved coke. I never did a lot, just a little bit at parties. But what ended it for me was when they caught Klaus Barbie, the Butcher of Lyon, in the early '80s. He was hiding in South America and living off the proceeds of being a cocaine baron. And I read that in the paper, and all the cards fell into place, and I saw how my little sniff of cocaine at a party had an absolute direct route to this horrible man." (CNN; photo: Julian Andrews)

Slap!

A lost Lichtenstein?

Pup Culture

Undated and uncredited photo of Hugh Hefner and Doris Day with a rescue pup. (via tsutpen)

Quote Unquote

"I want to give a shout-out to all my Saudi Arabian brothers and sisters and all my brothers and sisters from all the countries that have oil. If y'all could please send me some oil for my private jet, I would truly appreciate it. Can you believe this? I'm actually flying commercial, that's how high gas prices are." – P Diddy, in a YouTube rant from American Airlines.

Madonna: Life on the Road

Madonna might be a Democrat, but she's not democratic. The Material Girl's crew are suffering the Sticky half of her Sticky & Sweet world tour while she enjoys the Sweet life. The 250 employees working for her are booked on cheap flights and lodged in $100-a-night hotels, but the star flies in a private jet and, in Nice, checked into the $22,000-per 11th-century Chateau Saint Jeannet castle – with six beauticians, a chiropractor, and her personal chef in tow. "Everyone is absolutely furious with her and some of them want to walk out of the tour," said an insider. "They feel they are being treated like second-class citizens." Make that economy-class citizens. (Digital Spy; photo: WENN)

Quote Unquote

"Basically it was: Daniel's the outlaw; I'm the riverboat gambler who gets all the pussy, the shallow good-looking sap; Stephen's the village idiot; and he's the fucking hero! He's the one who saves the day at the end, he's the Clint Eastwood. That's the movie he wanted to make about his brothers." – William Baldwin, to The New Yorker, on the screenplay his brother Alec wrote for himself and his siblings. (Page Six)

Fat White Dude Marries Asian Model

James Gandolfini, 46 (looks older), married former model Deborah Lin, 40 (looks younger), to the strains of the "Hawaiian Wedding Song" played on a harp yesterday in Lin's hometown of Honolulu. The bride wore Italian lace and the best man was the eight-year-old son from the groom's first marriage. Our former colleague Moye Ishimoto might have said it best on her Chopstix blog last january when news of Dandofini's proposal to Lin first surfaced: "So, to all the Asians out there – is this a win or a loss for us? You know, like, one less fug for our men (aka me) or goddammit, fat white dudes need to stop having fetishes?" (Peeps)

Alaska? ALASKA? Alaska? Come on, Man

Diddy, whose "government name" is Sean Combs, opines on Senator John McCain's selection of Sarah Palin as his running mate. After looking at this clip for four minutes, we give Diddy the "nickname" Dizzy.

Johnny Depp: Jumpin' Jack Sparrow?

Last night, Friday, Johnny Depp strapped on a guitar and sang backup vocals with his old high-school band, The Kids, reuniting for a fund-raiser at Club Cinema in Pompano Beach, Florida. The band played a 90-minute set in front of 2,500 fans, including Depp's wife and nine-year-old daughter. Proceeds from the two-day benefit will go to the Dan Marino Foundation, which funds programs for kids with special needs. This amateur video probably doesn't do the band justice, but they sound terrible.

It's Johnston & Murphy, Not Masters & Johnson

Just a couple of days ago, David Duchovny, who plays a sex-obsessed character on Showtime's Californication, was Celebrity #1 at Nashville-based menswear company Johnston & Murphy, with the execs "thrilled" to have snagged him for its national print campaign launching in September in Esquire, Forbes, Fortune, Men's Health, etc. But immediately after the shit hit the stands yesterday that he'd entered rehab for a real sex addiction, reports Page Six, a poster like the one above was removed from the Johnston & Murphy window on Madison and 54th. "We got the call from corporate this morning to take him down," said a clerk in the Manhattan store. Does anyone see the contradiction here?

The Met's Fat Lady Sings for Wainwright

The piece that New York's Metropolitan Opera commissioned Rufus Wainwright to compose will not be performed there after all. A difficult Wainwright insisted his Prima Donna, about a day in the life of an opera singer, be performed in French, even though the Met requires all new works to be in English to appeal to a wider audience. On top of that, Wainwright wanted his opera staged NOW, and not in the 2014 season for which the Met had scheduled it. So Wainwright has taken his opera back and shopped it elsewhere. If you want to see Prima Donna, you'll have to go to England's Manchester International Festival next summer. If you want to see a prima donna, you can probably find Wainwright in West Hollywood right now. (LA Times; photo: Getty)

Of Interest

Eddie Van Halen and The Simpsons' crazy cat lady. (t/y Brent)

Quote Unquote

"We went out and Demi was dancing up on me and humping me from behind. She was lactating at the time and she was squirting breast milk at my lesbian friends. My friend Michelle called me the next morning and asked me: ‘How do I get breast milk out of my black dress?’ I replied: ‘How the fuck would I know? Call Demi!’" – Christopher Ciccone, on a night at the clubs with Madge and Demi Moore, in his book Life with My Sister Madonna. (The Sun)

Winehouse Says No No No to French Festival Promoters Again

For the second time in two years, Amy Winehouse has canceled her gig at Paris' Rock en Seine festival at the last minute. "Amy Winehouse was regrettably unable to perform at the show in Paris, due to illness," her spokesman informed the promoters two hours before she was to perform in front of 25,000 fans. "She was taken ill at her house and wasn't able to travel to France for the concert." The promoters are understandably peessed and contemplating legal action. The girl just isn't cracked up to be a rock star. She's just cracked up. (Agence France Presse; photo: Juan Medina/Reuters)

You're Sylvain

We'll bet you think this post is about you. Don't you? Don't you?

Irrefutable Proof That Christian Bale and Kermit the Frog Have Followed Identical Career Paths

Sure, we were skeptical when dlisted raved that ferdalump at Oh No They Didn't had discovered that Bale and Frog might as well have been separated at birth, but then we went there and the evidence is just too damn damning. Positively ribbeting.

Of Interest

Law & Order's Milena Govich and "blue" comic Sarah Silverman

Jim Howley: Brave Nude World

Jim Howley, our favorite contestant on World of Wonder's transgender reality show Transamerican Love Story, gets a lot of press as an activist in the trans community. And very often he does it naked, like he did for "The Naked Truth," this Advocate piece on "the beauty and blemish of the human body." He tells us, "People are going to start not being able to recognize me with my clothes on!" (Photo by Eric Schwabel)

Michael Jackson and Emanuel Lewis Vintage Video

They were both pretty very cute adorable here, back when they were The Gloved One and Webster. Happy 50th birthday to Michael today. (t/y William)

May-December in November?

(t/y Beau)

Michelle's Temperature Spikes

The Michelle Williams-Spike Jonze relationship seems to be moving forward. The couple, pictured here in Cannes, are spending more and more time together. Jonze was recently spotted at a convenience store in Williams' Brooklyn neighborhood, buying a toothbrush, toothpaste, eggs, and pancake mix. A nosy local told OK! mag that Jonze told her "he was visiting his girlfriend and just needed to get a few odds and ends. They were going to try and make breakfast for her daughter.” Eggs and pancake mix seem so much more than odds and ends if you're going to make pancakes. Apparently, Williams isn't handy in the kitchen.

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants Isn't Fiction?

Remember when Mary-Kate lost her pants two days ago? Now, as unlikely as it seems, Blake Lively lost hers outside the Letterman studio yesterday. Guess it's not their turn to wear them. (Lively photo: Splash via Hwd Tuna)

Barack Obama: It Figures

When Barack Obama accepted the nomination for president at the DNC yesterday, an estimated 38 million viewers watched on TV and set a new record for convention viewership. Obama’s speech reached more viewers than convention speeches given in 2004: John Kerry’s acceptance speech had 24.4 million viewers, and George W Bush’s drew 27.5 million. In pop culture terms, Obama’s speech reached more viewers than the Olympics opening ceremony in Beijing, the final American Idol, or the Academy Awards this year. Now, if all that would just pay off. (TV Decoder; photo: Bradley C Bower/AP; t/y Thairin)

Paris Hilton Auditions for The Queen

In this "lost screen test," the hotel heiress reads for the part of the British monarch with her best English accent. Which, of course, is hot.

Of Interest

Actors Richard Gere and David Duchovny

Quote Unquote

"For years, I tried to get producers to have Vinny sell his Hummer and buy a Prius. Then I realized this show is entertainment. I know that Entourage is often demeaning and crude, but there's also a lot of social commentary." – Adrian Grenier to Sunday's NY Post, explaining how environmentally green he'd like his HBO character to be.

That Beckham Smell

Victoria Beckham did publicity for her new scent Signature at the posh Harvey Nichols store in London this morning. The Mail says that while she may look angelic, the trophy wife doesn't wash her dirty ears. (Photo: WENN via Gossip Girls)

Going for the Gold

Not one to be outdone by some boring old supermodel, British page-3 girl and ordinary model with God-given boobs, Keeley Hazell gets the jump on that giant gold statue of Kate Moss the British Museum isn't showing until October. (via Egotastic!)

Gets Out Stubborn Axl Grease

Heatherette's Richie Rich and gal pal Kelly Osbourne were at the Hollywood launch party for the new Tide and Downy Total Care washing liquid when they ran into aging Guns N' Roses rocker Axl Rose taking a breather from completing the Chinese Democracy album, lol. "He was really weird with Kelly," Rich told OK! mag. "He kept leering at her and saying, "I want to fuck you!" We're sure she's heard worse. But, hey! What? A launch party for a detergent? As our James commented, "What was it they used to say about Sylvia Miles – that she'd go to the opening of a toilet lid?"

Who Am I?

Reveal after the jump.

Kate Moss: Goldminger

On October 4, the British Museum will unveil its Marc Quinn statue of supermodel Kate Moss that cost $3 million in materials and labor alone. Called Siren, it will be part of the museum's "Statuephilia" show. Quinn, you'll remember, is the artist who created the Alison Lapper Pregnant sculpture that sat in Trafalgar Square for more than a year and a half. The Moss statue, made entirely of gold, is said to be the largest statue since the glory days of ancient Egypt, but since it's hollow it weighs only 110 pounds, a bit more than Moss herself. The museum is releasing only this wee glimpse of the mammoth piece, but it's likely to turn out to be of Moss in a rude yoga position similar to this other Moss work by Quinn. (Daily Mail; photo: PA)

Ali Oops

We're thinking Ali Lohan might have Hutchinson-Gilford Progeria syndrome, because the 15-year-old has gone from looking 30 a couple of months ago to around 40 on this Supermodels Unlimited magazine cover. Supermodel? Sorry, Ali, but you're not even a regular, limited model, no matter what your mother says. (via Socialite Life; t/y Lindsey)

Madonna Onna Guitar and Inna Groove

On the "Sticky & Sweet" tour. Doesn't Madge always look uncomfortable playing guitar?

Quote Unquote

"I understand there are a few other people using Facebook pages under my name – which I find more flattering than creepy – but this is me. I don't know how I can prove that, but feel free to test me. ... I figured a good first step in my preparation would be finding out what Facebook is, so I've started this page. (Actually it was started by my researcher, Ian Reichbach, because my grandmother has more Internet savvy than I do and she's been dead for 33 years.)" – screenwriter Aaron Sorkin on his Facebook page, revealing his plans to write a movie about the founder of Facebook. (Reuters)

Suge: The Dark Knight

Death Row Records founder Marion "Suge" Knight was released from jail this morning after posting $19,000 bail. He'd been arrested yesterday morning in Las Vegas after officers arrived at the scene of a minor traffic accident and found him beating up a woman in a parking lot off a highway near the Strip. He was wielding a knife, and in possession of ecstasy and Vicodin. Because of his whopping size, one or more of the cops drew their Tasers as they approached him, but Knight dropped his knife and was taken into custody without incident. He was jailed on assault and drug charges. The unidentified woman he was pummeling, said to be his girlfriend, was taken to the hospital for non-lifethreatening injuries. She was not stabbed. (AP)

Chris Brown Likes Obama