Addressed to Kill

I think you are a little off with the entry on the theater ticket prices… The cost of a "Premium" ticket for some shows, including All My Sons, is not the same as the normal highest price orchestra ticket! Some theaters, not all, offer audience members these premium tickets at double the price and some do not. There is really no advantage to premium stating except to be able to say you paid twice as much as the person sitting next to you. The theater will sell those seats for the normal price if they are not purchased at the Premium price. It has NOTHING to do with Katie Holmes or the star power any given show. For example, the wonderful new musical [Title of Show] offers the $201 premium tickets along with their $110 orchestra seats and well, I love the show but there is not one single even remotely famous person in it. Additionally, Boeing Boeing DOES offer tickets for $251 as does August: Osage County!! Do the research!

Marie Kelly
Mesirow Financial

[Ed replies: Our "research" came from the source we linked to, and it touches on what you say. It really comes down to a different interpretation of the same information. And a touch of snark. Thanks for reading the WOW Report.]

Lathered Over Leather

The lovely former World of Wonder executive assistant, Moye Ishimoto, apparently nursing a grudge against Randy Barbato since July 7, 2006, writes to the WOW Report, saying, "Please tell Randy that if the amazing Oscar-winning Daniel Day-Lewis can wear BROWN shoes with his BLACK outfit, then so can I!" Consider him told.

Addressed to Kill

I was sad to see my favorite blog suggest that Paris Hilton is on the wrong side in the war against terror. The United States fights terror with bombs. Paris and her soul sisters Lindsay and Britney fight it with shameless fun. Given the popularity of Paris Hilton and American popular culture generally in the Islamic world, I can virtually guarantee that far more Muslims will go to see The Hottie and The Nottie (or want to see it) than will join Al Qaeda. Nothing the Marine Corps could do would be as subversive and liberating as that. The fact that the star of a state-sanctioned soap opera in Iran made a video of herself doing decidedly un-Islamic things with her boyfriend is evidence enough of the power of the freedom that Paris represents.

Beneath the war between the United States military and Al Qaeda is a deeper war between freedom and repression. Bush, Bin Laden, and moralistic liberals are on the wrong side; the fabulous Ms. Hilton is on the right side. The reason so many Americans, along with Islamic fundamentalists, hate Paris Hilton is the same reason they hate out queers, trannies, porn stars, hookers, and other heroes of World of Wonder productions: they are all too free.

Here's more of this argument (you might have to click through an ad).

– Thaddeus Russell

Morning Mail

Someone put a muffin on my desk. Thanks! it was perfect.
– erin

I found it on the floor. Did you eat it?
– Steven

is that the one that was in the urinal?
– Randy

A craft service bag from the Viva Hollywood shoot was left in the mens room. If anyone finds it, please let me know. (If may have broken open, so handle it carefully.)
– Danny

I bake home made muffins for all of you to commemorate my return to WOW and you leave them in the loo? Gee, thanks.
– Maria

Addressed to Kill

After watching Miss Navajo the other night, a viewer wrote to PBS:

I am just writing to you to tell you of my utter shock and displeasure at the show you aired last night on Rocky Mountain PBS, "Miss Navajo." I was in bed, trying to sleep and I often turn to PBS for some educational programming to enjoy. Imagine my shock and horror, when watching Miss Navajo and trying to learn about the Native American traditions and then, seeing the horror of the contestants slaughtering sheep!!! This atrocity must stop and it should not be filmed or aired on TV!!!!! I can't believe that they are still doing this in this day and age, there is nothing to prove by killing an innocent and fearful animal. Those sheep knew what they were in for, I could see it in their eyes.

Miss Navajo director Billy Luther replied:

Whether you are a vegetarian or a meat-eater you must be aware that to feed the American public the slaughter of hundreds of thousands of living things takes place in far less humane circumstances every day. Hiding this from view does nothing other than create a false sense of what is humane and acceptable. In the Navajo tradition we treat the land and its creatures with respect. We all need to eat and when we take from the land we do so in a responsible sustainable way that has been passed down from generation to generation. Perhaps when you are eating your turkey on Thursday you can spare a thought for all the Native Americans who were slaughtered in atrocities still celebrated every day on television in endless Westerns.
Happy Thanksgiving
Billy Luther

The Independent Lens screening of Miss Navajo debuts on channel 13 WNET in New York tonight. (The Miss Navajo promotional key ring)

Hoo-ha

I saw these owls on the shelf in a store and thought of the WOW Report. Since I started my new job last spring, I don't have as much time to monitor your blog – don't know if owls are still big with you guys but I've been seeing them all over the stores the last few weeks, on sheets, dish towels, cups, mugs, and these ceramic fellows. Once again WOW finds something on the fringe and makes it mainstream! Keep up the good work.

– Quartknee

Addressed to Kill

Hi,
Can you post more pictures of your local in-office celebrity, Tom Wolf. Like, without a shirt and maybe the top button on his jeans undone? He's yummy.
K. Thanks. Bye.
Donald Bridges

Addressed to Kill

Hi My Fellow Smokies! I just wanted to thank you for the heads up. Once again, due to WOW's PROMPT news reporting, keeping us all abreast of the happenings here at home and the WONDEROUS WORLD over, I knew to stop at the pharmacy before going home to pick up a few items I'd need for my smokey Hollywood 'hood. Thank God I was able to get the very last one on the shelf! Man, WOW rules. THANKS SO SO MUCH!

– Veronica "Soothie-Eyed" Billingsley

Addressed to Kill

Chip Duckett writes

I was glued to the WOW Report [last night] cuz something told me you'd know first about Tori's baby. A little voice whispered it in my ear, which had nothing to do with the upcoming WOW show, TORI AND DEAN: INN LOVE. Within minutes of your posting that T gave birth, I called and texted friends. (If you don't believe me, I'll show you my cell phone bill next month – or "LUDS," as they say on Law and Order).

J'adore Tori. Always have, always will. All us gays loved Donna Martin in the 90210 days (certainly more than the other choices on that show. Cough cough, Ian Ziering, high school student?). We backflipped over Tori in Scream Junior. Tori proved she was the West Coast Parker Posey in Trick. Her real artistic achievement (so far) was in So NoTORIous – brilliant brilliant brilliant. (Get the DVD, there's an unaired episode). Maybe we gays also feel a connection since she has had difficulties with Mom & Dad, who knows?

Addressed for Success

All you with real reels and talent and stuff like that can apply to be America's Next Producer at the TV Guide Channel. For those of us just trying to be fodder for a reality show and hoping to tell the real producers what we would like in a TV show – we gots to make a little bio movie and pray our wonderful WOWers will put out the voting call so we can win the one loser spot from the on-line competition.

Here's The Mom's bio and remember voting begins March 18th! Vote Mom, vote often! And gimme some love points! (We want the comments back, so to the dork who ruined it for the rest of us: "Don't make me stop this car!")

– The Mom

[Ed note: The Mom is one of the WOW Report's most enthusiastic and verbose commenters, bless her.]

Addressed to Kill

Hi WOW GANG!

So, I just have to say that I'm sorry that a few bad apples had to spoil it for the whole barrel. Just so you know, the lot of us who communicate outside of WOW, who are avid-dedicated, ADDICTED readers, know VERY WELL that "Fenton" isn't the one responsible for the "Bloodclot" comments, etc... You have a VERY intelligent fan base – I think we all know that. And even tho Randy might just have a "special uncle," we know that it's not his special uncle commenting.

Artdressed to Kill

Our old New York friend, artist Albert Crudo, sent this photo along with a note:

Dear Mr. Say-Chanel (Christina called you that in one of her stupors and I remember because, of course, Nelson captured it for all eternity, so I've seen it a zillion times). How are you? And the hip? I like your name at the top of the blog. Anyway, if it's a slow news day... I'm working on a (unrelated) project and all of a sudden Lahoma Van Zandt manifested herself before my very eyes! (Note the tube top made out of a Daffy's bag. If I'm not mistaken Lahoma did sport one just like it!)

Love and freezing rat kisses,
Lil' Crudito

Addressed to Kill

I won! Yay! I just received Michael Musto's book in the mail from you (after winning your trivia contest) and I'm over halfway through it. I love it! As a gay guy born in 1986, I don't hear a lot about the early AIDS crisis, ACT UP, and all that, so reading about it (in between all the hilarious celebrity gossip) was extremely educational. [...] Being stuck in wet, dreary Canada, it was wonderful to get a much-needed dose of fabulousness and snark.

Thank you for the book and keep on giving your hungry audience the goodness which is the World of Wonder. I can't end this letter by claiming to be your #1 fan (there are far too many for that) but I think I can honestly claim to place around #25 or so. xoxo

– maxwell maxwell

Addressed to Kill

Thanks for the writeup on HOLLYWEED (the sign and our song). No, Finegood certainly wasn't a vandal; he was an artist! ;-)

We are still trying to get the song recorded by a known singer.

– David Batterson

Addressed to Kill

Just dropping a quick note to let you know I received my copy of La Dolce Musto in the mail today and really, probably shouldn't have opened it until today's errands were run. Cannot put this book down! Some of the older articles I hadn't seen, but [they] cover events or places that were actually meaningful to me at one time or another. And each is as captivating and brilliant as everything else I'd read from Mr. Musto. (Or is it "Ms., motherfucker!").

Anyway, thank-you for this priceless compilation. I'll make it a goal for 2007 to track down Mr. Musto and convince him to jot an inappropriately familiar note to me on the inside cover. Maybe ask him when he plans to have another intimate session with Brad Pitt? There's room in the back for a second inappropriately familiar note...

– D. Swindell

[Ed note: And a stalker is born.]

Addressed to Kill

Greetings from Wichita, Kansas, home of . . . um . . . uh . . . wait, I’ll think of something . . . oh yes, home of Kirstie Alley! She’s from here and visits frequently. I am convinced that she stalks me – seems like every time my partner and I go out to eat, and she’s in town, she shows up at the same restaurant. Either she has excellent taste, or I have really, really bad taste.

Anyway, I’m really pleased to have won Musto’s book, because I usually don’t win anything. However, I don’t want my good name besmirched (hey, we have large vocabularies in Kansas too!). I did not use Google for my answers! I did it the old fashioned way – I guessed! Honestly, the only one I knew for sure was Jamie Lee Curtis. The others I guessed. Turned out I was right. Actually, now that I think about it, should I be proud that I know these things?

I look forward to reading my book. Perhaps Kirstie will sign it for me the next time she stalks me. Or I can use it to fend her off if she decides to go for my food. Either way, thanks for a book that I earned on my own non-Googled knowledge!

– Eddie Lotts

Addressed to Kill

I wanted to share two "World of Wonder" sitings in literature, both of which sounded like beautiful tributes to your website:

"I was lost in a world of wonder, enthralled by both the amazing stories as well as the art form." – Peter Max, from his introduction to Wally's World: The Brilliant Life and Tragic Death of Wally Wood, the World's 2nd Best Comic Book Artist, by Steve Starger and J. David Spurlock (2006)

"As artists, it serves us to consciously find windows to the world of wonder — we must locate places that open the trapdoor in our imagination and allow the breath of greater worlds to enter our too-claustrophobic lives." – Julia Cameron, Walking in this World (2003)

Cheers,
Craig Conley

(Conley is the author of One-Letter Words: A Dictionary, published by HarperCollins)

Addressed to Kill

Our New York friend Chip Duckett writes:

Although I have never done drag, I keep my options open. I've always said that, if I decided to DQ, I'd pick the name Jennifer Convertibles – even though I know it's a little New York-centric and if I decided to drag myself into stardom it would be worldwide stardom. It doesn't really stand up to the legendary names like International Chrysis (!!!). It barely stands up west of Philadelphia. My second choice was always Mariel Boatlift, which sadly betrays my age.

In spite of my gazillions of hours watching cartoons, how did I not think of renaming myself Hannah Barbera in that instance? Thanks for opening my eyes. If I decide to DQ it before tomorrow, I'll race every queen on the planet to copyright it. Otherwise, I'll just congratulate whoever does. And I can't believe you didn't hang onto Hannah B. for yourself.

Addressed to Kill

here I am, come and get me

My name is Andrew. I am a 21 year old mechanic looking for a slight career change. I don't have trouble finding women, yet I don't enjoy the worries of possible kids and diseases. I know ya'll take care of your employees and would like a chance to see If I have what it takes to join the team. I get along with just about anyone, moving 15 times in a lifetime will do that to you. write me at [address withheld] if you want to add a dedicated honest 6' 2" by 9+" man to the roster. I am not a model so I don't have all these pictures and what not. whomever reads this if you decide to help out and pass on the word I will make the effort to get what I need. I have been told I can do this.

Addressed to Kill

Angel:

Thank you for the glorious blowjob – about my book, I mean. Of course I'm hurt that you put fabulous in quotes. Fabulous should never be in quotes! And of COURSE there's no index. The whole book is a big old sprawling index! But I really am writing to say bless you from the gayest gay gay in gaydom. To combine a blowjob and a plug is a rare talent.

Michael
xxxx

Addressed to Kill

I just had to write in and defend Zooey Deschanel. So taking on a role like Janis Joplin is indeed a formidable task, but if anyone can take on Joplin's feisty rebellious persona, I think my girl Zooey can. OK, so she's a little young. And she lacks the booming voice of Pink, who was also up for the role (ew, who would pay to see Pink in a movie?). And the makeup artist is going to have to pack extra ugly sticks into her kit to hit her pretty face with. And lord knows how she's going to do the sexy rasping voice. But I've been following Deschanel's career closely, and something in her performances in The Good Girl (as a disillusioned make-up counter clerk slipping obscenities into her morning tannoy announcements) and this season's Weeds (as a psychotic hippie on the run from an Eskimo headhunter) hint at an untapped well of unhingedness (is that a word?) that will stand her in good stead to play the beer-bottle-crackingness of Janis. Watch this space – I think Zooey's gonna surprise us all. Hell, at the very least, be thankful that Britney didn't get the part.

– Steven Corfe

Addressed to Kill (Literally)

hey, folks! just a note from your friendly gayborhood gorehound here to let you know about a contest we're running at CampBlood.org and Towleroad.com just in time for the holidays. basically, entrants are asked to send in photos of themselves done up as murder victims (we'll also accept demons, vampires, and other assorted nasties) -- the bloodier, the better. the winning 10 corpses will win signed HELLBENT DVDs and halloween care packages, courtesy of the HELLBENT folks.

i'm sure your twisted readership would have gobs to contribute to an open call for carnage – please feel free to pass it on! the contest page with all the det's is here.

happy october! love to all!

– buzz

Addressed to Kill

My Day, From 3:37 PM Until Now:

The end-of-the-day bell rings. I leave school and quickly make my way to the car. When I get in the car, my mother hands me a copy of the latest issue of Los Angeles Magazine, pre-flipped to page 100. I think, "What, a list of the hottest new restaurants in LA? Pshhh." Then, I see pictures of Fenton and Randy in orange jumpsuits, and Thairin... on a toilet. The title of the article my mother is showing me is "CHANNEL XYZ: Drag Queens, Club Kids, And Amateur Erotic Filmmakers Make WOW TV The Online Outlet For Artists On The Edge". She grins and I do too. And then I squeal and then I read the article, after a few minutes of happy-freaking-out. And then I get home and write this email.

Someone give Laurie Pike a big hug for writing this article.

Congrats.

Love,

Shoy

Addressed to Kill

I am a broker-agent, working in San Francisco, and have made Million Dollar Listing a part of my listing presentation package. Your show really captures my market. I'm not in Southern California, but I have the same type of clients you feature. I love the fact that you show the unvarnished truth of the business I am in! Keep up the good work!

– Charlie Mader

Addressed to Kill

I recently started visiting your site and it's great. It makes my workday go by so much quicker. The Patch Adams photo with the Robin Williams rehab bit made me laugh out loud. Keep it up!

– Anthony Herz

"I will show you my love if you show me yours." I have to agree [with Moye] that that line is the lamest line in recent music. so stupid. I just wanted to let you know that lost of folks share your thoughts on that line. And for crying out loud WOW report stop talking about paris hilton, good bad or ugly. She is a disease and if we keep talking about her, she will never disappear. In 5 years Paris will hopefully be a part of pop culture history. The girl who saturated the media so much that she literally caused it to ignore her. Some publications are well on there way to doing just that, and I would be pleasured to see my favorite blog do the same.

PS James...you are looking hot these days!

– Elliott Spitz

Addressed to Kill

(What else) James' BDay

I thought I'd take this opportuity, (J.C's B-Day) eh-hem, To, THANK YOU, The People at WOW, for being a part of my life.

EACH OF YOU.... are a special and intricuit part of making thousands of people giggle behind the doom and gloom of their cubicle mazes.

PLEASE, NEVER STOP!!!
Keep up the wicked awesome work!
Mistress Brill

Addressed to Kill

Just saw The Devil Wears Prada yesterday. Did you know that in the very, very last scene there is a NYC bus with an ad for TransGeneration on it? Very cool,

– Sid

[Ed note: Actually, Sid, yes, we did know that. But thanks for reminding us. We've been told by a couple of other people, too. In fact, we knew about it before we saw the movie, but were so carried away and uplifted and swoony from the good feeling we got toward the end that we forgot to look for the bus, damn it.]

Phone a Friend

I want to apologize about raising a false alarm last month about my appearance on the syndicated version of Who Wants To Be a Millionaire? I told everyone I'd appear on the May 10th broadcast, and it didn't happen. Many of you asked me what the hell happened, and for a long time I didn't know. But now I do, and that's why I'm bothering you again with this email.

Last week I received word from Buena Vista TV telling me I'll definitely be on the show on Tuesday, June 27th, 2006. Which is good. In Los Angeles, I would normally appear on the KCAL Channel 9 airing of the show at 6:30 PM. Which is also good. Tonight, that broadcast will be pre-empted in Los Angeles by a Dodgers game. Which is bad. If the Dodgers get rained out, however, then my show would be on. Which is good. But I just learned the Dodgers are playing inside in the Minnesota Metrodome for the first time ever this week. Which is bad.

Anyway, I'll shut up now. Thanks for your patience. And if someone wants to start a Super Lotto pool, I'm in. The jackpot is $86 million on Wednesday.

– David Story

[Ed note: Story is a supervising producer at WOW. Which is good. He's also a serial game-show contestant. Which is good. But he doesn't see his winnings until after the shows air. Which is bad.]

Addressed to Kill

Here's an angry letter we received today from Tracey Ellis regarding a story we found – via The Mirror, a UK tabloid – and posted here a few days ago, concerning James Blunt's allegedly miraculous ability to heal with song:

"What a load of complete rubbish - if the press actually did their homework they would know that you do not have radios playing in an intensive care unit!! - they have taken what Claudia's parents said and completely twisted and turned it to sound like she was brought out of a coma by some "pop star" who is currently undergoing bad press - STOP NEWS FLASH!! Claudia was actually in an induced coma and brought out of if slowly by the doctors NOT some singer - her parents agreed to a story being done to highlight the plight of Burnley General Hospital possibly closing their A & E Unit and wanted to commend the excellent job done by the staff there and to also highlight what an excellent job the team at Pendlebury Childrens Hospital have done, however, there was no mention of this- I feel that an apology is in order to her parents as don't you think they have enough to deal with without the scavengers adding their bit??"

Addressed to Kill

We got this email yesterday from Heather Reznor at Michael Lucas's PR firm regarding Lucas's mention in the "Fast and Lucas at the Gay Porn Oscars" post by The Green Eye:

Hi there. This isn't a hostile note. Today's blogging is terribly funny. I don't mind a little harmful hatin' passed Michael's way. I remember him telling me about that angry guy. Anyway, Michael and I enjoyed it even though it wasn't the nicest :)

See, that's a really good note. Especially from a publicist. She said what she had to say in a brief and breezy way – jolly almost – and everyone survived and got on with the rest of their day. Nice one, Heather.

Addressed to Kill

Dear World of Wonder,

Yeah, well. I've been meaning to email WOW for a long time now, so now I'm emailing you.

Firstly, thank you, World of Wonder, for existing. If you didn't exist, there wouldn't be a WOW Report, or a St. James version, or Party Monster, and I would feel empty and I would probably have died by now. Don't take that seriously. No, wait. DO take that seriously, because it's probably true.

And THANK YOU, whoever is reading this email, for being part of World of Wonder. You are obviously cool because you work at WOW. And WOW is cool. And there aren't many really crazily cool things in America. They're very limited, in fact! So. Yeah. Thank you for being cool.

Thank you, World of Wonder, for being so intelligent and brilliant and amazing. Intelligence is very limited, as well as Crazy-Coolness. Thank you so fucking much for creating the WOW Report, which is the first website I visit when I open Safari on my computer. Now, see, I'm a Live-Journal addict. And you come before Live Journal. That means I love you.

Yes, yes. I love WOW! I love WOW! (Notice the increase in excitement as I keep writing this. I am jumping around: "I love WOW! I love WOW!")

So whoever is still reading this, please tell everyone that a little WOW fan named Shoy loves them. Because I do! I love everyone at WOW. Probably.

Love love love,
Your (probably) one and only 12-year-old fan, Shoy.

Addressed to Kill

Hey JT,

As I sit here caretaking my trans lover from a harrowing, invasive trans-related sugery, reflecting on all the moments of potential violence and actual hostility, ignorance and humiliation he and all trans people survive on a daily basis, I just thought I'd share with you how totally grossed out by you I am. If you had even used your giant scam for something other than schmoozing with B-list celebs (Stephen Jenkins? Please) or writing shallow articles about couture footwear, and perhaps used your doomed moment in the spotlight to champion the actual heroic trans, HIV+, homeless or survivor youths making art under the celebrity radar, I could possibly applaud your exploitation. Now I just think you're a massive loser, as everyone who offered you a leg up in your social climbing surely does. Hope all the cash makes the total loss of your soul worthwhile.

Seeya,

Michelle Tea

Addressed to Kill

(xanga.com)

Sour Yurts

Dear Moye, et al,

It's so nice to hear about your wonderful holiday party. Thank you for giving us a rundown of the festivities. It's always such a treat to hear about parties in the first person and second hand! It reminds me of that high school trip to Hawaii that I didn't get to attend in 9th grade. The one where my classmates returned and began every sentence with, "Oh my God, wasn't that funny when...?"

Here's what I was doing last night (in Los Angeles, I might add) while you were dancing the night away. After dialoguing with the 16-year-old cat about his inability to take a shit without tracking it in the house, the boyfriend and I ate some curry and listened to Nancy Wilson. Then, upon learning that the boyfriend's brother is getting married at the very upscale Ventana Inn in Big Sur in June (where rooms start at $500 a night, two night minimum), my boyfriend and I almost came to blows because I absolutely insisted that the brother of the groom should not be staying at the campsite down the hill where they'll upgrade you to a yurt for $50. Besides, when it comes to dressing for weddings, I don't "do yurts." Thankfully, I won that argument. Then, I did a load of laundry (whites), took a Xanax, and went to bed.

But it sounds like you had a great time. Happy holidays!

– Ray Cochran

(Photo: a yurt)

Addressed to Kill

Dear WOW Arbiters of Popculture,

Do you know about these two? I went to Wire Image and there they were at some Royal Variety show in Cardiff. So I Googled them. Who ARE these homoerotic, double-jointed little minxes? Did you guys know about them? If you go to their website and click on Photos, there’s one in particular that looks like them naked in a 69 position. Mon Dieu! These guys should be a staple of popculture. So why haven’t we seen more of them??

Concerned,
Harry Redlich

The Boy Next Door Type

I haven't written to you in a while but now I want to tell you about this odd coincidence that just happened to me. I have this HOTTTT (not to be confused with my site Hot Prison Pals) neighbor who moved onto my floor in my building in Tribeca about six months ago. He's a model from Brazil. His name is Leo. Straight, has lots of different girlfriends, and is very very GAY FRIENDLY. They say be careful what you pray for because you just might get it. The other day I wondered what Leo looks like without any clothes, and 20 minutes ago I discovered him in the gay section of Fleshbot under Speedo Sundays, wearing a Speedo. I'm agnostic, but should I believe in God or what?

– Sam Wagner

Addressed to Kill

You are such an angel to run that awe inspiring tribute to me. You must have heard that Mama was in need of some uplift and, baby, did you ever deliver. I had no idea some of those icons had even heard of me, let alone thought I was the second coming of the Christ child. Sugar, when you passed the baton to me in 1922, I knew I had the highest shoes to fill and I've been mindful of that ever since. You continue to fill my cups and I am eternally grateful for that. I will stop now because I don't do sincere very well.

Love,
Musty

Addressed to Kill

I just wanted to share a few observations as I sit here at Longo Toyota, the largest Toyota dealer in the US. Although they do have free internet access, they have blocked the WOW web site. I was quite dismayed. I decided to check out the Sirius satellite radio, and they have completely blocked Sirius Q (the gay and lesbian radio station) from all of the demo machines. I haven't decided yet if I am offended.

– Beau Genot

(Ed reply: Well, we are. Better not show up here in a new Toyota.)

Addressed to Kill

James St. James!

It's Maggie Zeltner here, your trusty producer from Top Model, and I am dying to know what you thought! I read your little blurb on the WOW Report, and was quite disappointed that you did not mention me, but I digress. Seriously though, thank you soooo much for everything. The episode was fantabulous. We did really well in the ratings, beating out Martha Stewart's Apprentice and we ended up being the #1 show in New York City!

Also, I got an email from our friend Simon Doonan (who has been on the show in the past) and he had this to say: "Just saw James Saint James - a total acid trip. His Michael Alig book is brilliant."

Hope you are well!
XOXO Maggie

Addressed to Kill

dear mr st. james,
Thank you for the nice comments re: my NOBLE NOSE etc. [link] i forwarded them to my mother, and she was horrified! but I am very flattered. I was going to attach a scandalous bonus photo for you, but i don't even really know what this email address is...
your humpmonkey forever,
Bennett Madison

Addressed to Kill

GOOD BYE
Maurice Bonamigo, one of the gay Republicans featured in the WOW documentary Gay Republicans, out now on DVD, is not finished with you.

Sorry to say, then I am finished with WOW REPORT. I have read it, recommended it to others, and even contributed to it. Now it is deleted from my favorite places list. I don't intend to read it anymore. Why you give any attention at all to this psycho is unfathomable to me. So long.

– Alan Light

HELLO
As most of you know by now, My chapter of Log Cabin Republicans and myself have been kicked out of the National Organization for endorsing a Republican candidate for the Presidency of the United States. Go figure. Well, to say the least LCR groups around the country are having a hard time with their credibility within the Republican Party itself. Why is that you ask? well the answer is because of the poor leadership of Patrick Guerriero and his left leaning sheep who simply can't think for them self's.

That being said, I knew it would only be a matter of time before my days were numbered. For the longest time LCR felt that I was a major threat to their organization because I am a man who lays it on the line and always get results. Plus I do not play both sides of the fence.

Letter from Lafayette

That Fleshbot post from waterlogged Jonno this morning actually was posted by his lovely assistant editor Violet. And meanwhile, we've contacted the boy and he's replied, much to our relief. Sez he:

hello dollface -

i'm fine, at least physically - the boyfriend and the hounds (all four of them) and i decamped to Lafayette, LA (<- two hours west of NO and home of hot Cajun boys) on Saturday night and are staying with friends until things are drier on the home front, which may be at least another week or two according to latest reports, and assuming we have a home to go back to. it's all rather surreal.

so i guess i'm as well as can be expected under the circumstances. thank god for muscle relaxers is all i can say.

thanks for your concern - it really does make things easier knowing that friends are thinking about us.

xo jonno

ps - send bourbon + eyeliner

We Get Letters

Christian Lepanto sent us the email with attached photo this morning and we post it here verbatim for your enjoyment and deconstruction:

OK I was wondering if by chance James St. James may have been in Grand Rapids Michigan this past weekend or am I just being hopeful. Also the inside scoop that I have is slightly multilayered. DC Shoes which is a skateboard shoe ended up getting inadvertently immortalized in front of Grauman's Chinese Theatre by Adam Sandler. I send this shot out to DC and they end up hiring the cement man of the Theatre to cast a mold for them. This person is Sassoon and is the first celebrity worth mentioning and the next is that in September he will be laying cement for none other than Johnny Depp and I have been personally invited by Sassoon to attend all cement reveals for him to shoot as I know in my heart of hearts he got payment of a pretty penny and felt like giving me something I could enjoy. Next I was called by a hacker who had gotten Paris Hilton's phone book and then accessed Chad Muska's voicemail box and I am the only Shmoe to actually leave a real phone number to call and they told me they did this and found me and to give Chad a new code for his voicemail to seal it from the next hacker.  I have no idea about you using any of this but I thought I would let you in on it   christian

Addressed to Kill

The big newz today: P Diddy dropped the P in his name. Now he wants to be known as just "Diddy". It reminds me of the adult cable channel in New York in the '70s. They had an ad that showed a couple of girls in bikinis being urinated on. The 5 or 6 urine streams came from off-camera so you had to use your imagination. The voiceover would say "Call 777-PEEE - The extra E is for extra Pee." I'm afraid that when ever I hear P Diddy's name without the P I'm gonna miss that extra P. Please Diddy bring back the P.

– Gordon Silveria

Addressed to Kill

Ok .. my turn to piss in your cornflakes

snakes don't hear with their tongues .. they "taste" microscopic particles with their tongues .. which you could think of as smelling with their tongues .. which is still fun to talk about when all coked up

snakes actually hear with thir ribs .. sound creats minor vibrations in the ground then the vibrations from the ground are carried up thru their ribs to their heads where they translate it as sound .. or at least that what i was told in the herpetology classes i took

xoxoxox
Jay

Addressed to Kill

You continue to amaze me with the wonderful job you're doing on The Wow Report – it is much appreciated and a must-see part of my day that both informs and amuses me. Now not a day goes by that I don't email someone to alert them to a particularly compelling (or repellant, as the case may be!) item. Thank you for your good humor, good research and responsible presentation.

– Nelson Aspen

Addressed to Kill

Okay, I know I don't have a forum here, but I've been waiting for you guys to talk about Outfest. You haven't really said much so I'm going to take the liberty... I was there this weekend with my boyfriend. He owns a well-established watering hole and can be a cheapskate at times and started doing the subtle "Hi, I think we're throwing some parties for you guys" thing to get free tickets to see any screenings at the Anson Ford (which was originally built by some rich gal in the '20s who thought the Cahuenga pass resembled "The Hills of Palestine" so she built an amphitheater to spread the "good word" about Jesus -- who knew?). ANYWAY, we got tickets to Guys and Balls. When I went to pick them up, I ran into an ex boyfriend (not hard to do) who's now a staff member at Outfest. He asked me which tickets I had gotten and I told him and he said, "That movie's okay. But you should see Friday night's screening at the Ford! Freshmen Orientation!" So he goes to the computer and knocks out two more tickets. Now I have tickets to for both Thursday and Friday night.

Addressed to Kill

Babycakes. It was so fun to see you and Jamesette, especially in the context of naughty, bawdy Hollywood. And it was great sizing up my cock against celebrities' and realizing at least mine is bigger than Gloria Swanson's. I finally got recognized by a Jet Blue employee on the way home, so the whole trip wasn't in vain. He said, "We had Liza Minnelli yesterday and now you!"

– Michael Musto

Addressed to Kill

So here's the deal. I am moving to London in exactly 11 months and I want to shed a few pounds. The reason I'm contacting you guys is that I love love LOVED the soundtrack to Party Monster and I need to have great music like that to work-out to. I would like to find more music like this, but I wouldn't even know where to begin. Can you offer any help?? Thanks so much!
Kim Brewer
Devoted WOW fan

Ed reply: Kim, you'll have to shed a few dollars before you shed a few pounds. (In expensive London, you'll shed pounds like crazy.) The soundtrack CD is available on Amazon and they have that "customers who liked this might also like these" list. Which you should already have done. Ta ta.

I love your site! Why not help me brag to the world by creating a tee shirt!! I'm thinking World of Wow and the globe (including the edited by Stephen Saban) across the top (front), and a list of your regulars on the back. I adore the St. James Version! Provide this awesome tee shit (for a nominal fee) so that everyone can check me out and in turn check YOU out!
Warmly,
Liz Fine
Philadelphia

Ed reply: Hee hee, she said tee shit.

Addressed to Thrill

This comment just showed up in the post Every Dog Has Its Day and this editor thought it should see some light, especially before the last episode of Showdog Moms & Dads tonight. We couldn't agree more with Pip's appraisal of Lourdes.

I have enjoyed the dog part of the show but to me the best part was Lourdes..I am a 66 years old grandmother of three, and I think that someone like Lourdes shows what a lady is..She is sensitive wise and kind..I wish I could let her know that even not having children she can touch the lives of children by showing her kindness and love..The message she sends will certainly enter the hearts of people everywhere..She was certainly someone I would be proud to call friend. – Pip

Hello from Hell

My name is Aaron Schwarz and I own T-Shirt Hell. Because of that, I can do whatever the fuck I want. I woke up one morning and decided I didn't want to have a "Worse Than Hell" section, so I took it down.

We always said there was no line we wouldn't cross, but even then there really was still a line. There were always subjects we wouldn't touch. So now we've moved the line. Sometimes people grow, and change, and gain perspective. There are some shirts we just don't feel comfortable making and we're not going to make them any more. Those are the shirts we took down.

For the record, there were no outside influences. There was no lawsuit. I wasn't visited in the middle of the night by The Nation of Islam, and my girlfriend did not give birth to a gay, black, autistic baby. There was no desire to go "mainstream" to pick up endorsements or advertising. There will not be a T-Shirt Hell ride at Disneyworld, and we are not going to sponsor Ashley Simpson's next tour. Her next anal gangbang video maybe, but not her tour.

There are still plenty of juicy targets out there. Not to mention a whole world of sex and drugs and rock and roll. Your mom will still probably refuse to put your T-Shirt Hell shirt in with the rest of the
laundry, afraid it will corrupt the socks.

We only cater to our own tastes and that's worked for us in the past. If you still enjoy what we do, keep shopping. If you don't, I guess you'll go somewhere else.

I don't see this as a radical change for T-Shirt Hell. Most subjects are still fair game. I hope you'll stick around. And if you don't, I want to thank you for your past support and I hate to see you go. (Editor's Note: If you don't understand it when someone puts it politely, try this: Go fuck yourself you sad little douchebag. Gargle with Drano, jump off an overpass with the bungee cord around your neck, and use your last breathe to lick my beautiful, black ass.) I think the best is yet to come.

We will return to our regularly scheduled thing next week. Until then you can use the following to go to hell:

http://www.tshirthell.com/hell.shtml

Addressed to Kill

Just 'cause I'm a big nerd know-it-all, I thought you'd like to know that Lars Von Trier's Dancer in the Dark featured a dance sequence captured by 300 cameras.

– Rodney Ascher

Addressed to Kill

I stumbled across your blog and suddenly noticed I was sidetracked from my search for gay porn for close to twenty minutes (however I kept my boner throughout). I think it had something to do with the Ginormous Breakfast sandwich.

– Gregg Walloch

Addressed to Heel

Hi. Just wanted to let you know that Chalcy and I will be performing the halftime show at the Corpus Christi Hammerheads arena football game on 5/1/05. We do an acrobatic stunt dog show. We've performed at several NBA halftime shows in the past, but this will be our first football show. Thanks.

– Kyra Sundance

Addressed to Kill

Loyal readers of the WOW Report will remember the smooth email stylings of Sam Wagner, host of hotprisonpals.com. He's back with a tender tale:

Dear Stephen,
It's me Sam Wagner of HotprisonPals......(..just mentioned it for reference).....anyway let