In an unusually bland and downright disappointing response to yesterday's sexsational report that Tony Parker has been having an affair with a French slut he met at his wedding to actress Eva Longoria, Parker told People, "I love my wife. She's the best thing in my life, and I have never been happier." And Longoria, the alleged injured party, said,"Tony has been nothing short of the perfect husband." Yawn. Boring. But it was probably that "nothing short" part that got the trouble started. (Photo: Stephanie Keenan/PMC)